2/24/09

It would be nice to live in still life!

Worry free!

Fear free!

Pain free!

DEAD.

Basically…

4 days of stressssss

4 days free from the wrath of school was good for the most part.

Except for all the stress of the homework I ALWAYS choose to forget about!! Basically I only harm myself by choosing my plans poorly.

What has me so stressed?

…

GOVERNMENT!!!!! D:

It’s not so much the subject itself, because, it’s not math, which I despise a lot mostly. It’s my professor. I don’t ever understand a thing he teaches, and this is causing me troubles. I feel like I go in there and come out exactly the same. Everything that is a lesson becomes plain jibberish to my ears. This isn’t supposed to be this way! I should be learning something, right?!?! Of course! So!?

Right now I am panicking because of a book report which was due today and I didn’t turn in. NOW FIRST OF ALL, I will go to admit that this was entirely MY OWN fault. Because I chose to procrastinate. Not even that alone, I also obtained a book on Saturday which wasn’t even on his list of approved books! IDIOT, I am…

Anyway…

Thursday night I went out to bowl with a close friend of mine. It was so great to talk to her, because she understand my current feelings. Because she feels this way most of the time, if not, worse. I appreciated so much that she listened to me. I needed it!

I also got to see an old friend while we visisted her prior to going to the bowling place, thing…

It was fun! It was nice seeing her again!

I lub English

To those who say I’m a good writer/reader, this was my secret weapon back in elementary!

I remember always acing my spelling tests!!

And the one time I got below a perfect score, like a 98, I was so dissapointed …

It would be fun if only I was 6 again!

lol

Hahaha

http://www.palinaspresident.us/

This website should be visited!!

It is hilarious! It makes a mockery out of the possibility of Palin ever having become president. It’s not a video or anything, it’s simply a flash website, but we all know how fun those are, because they are INTERACTIVE!!! I advise to click on the closet/storage door as many times as possible. And if your mouse allows it, click on the objects/things you find in there. You’ll surely get a laugh! ( ´∀｀)

Who knows how old this is, and I have just discovered it! (◎-◎)

It is depressing…

The shirt thing I’m wearing, is very depressing… (_ _ )

because it itches!!!!

No, but I mean, I was reading my last entries, or in that case my old entries. All I have to say is WOW!!!

I was so concerned with my weight. I talked way too much about how much I gained or lost or whatever! What was going on? Anyway, it’s better not to talk about those things anymore. Put all of that behind.

On another note, the day was bland! I had an exam, which I didn’t do so hot on. I was nodding out in Philosophy. I like the class, but the subject has already been read by myself, and so, the special spark isn’t quite there anymore. Even though I truly do not even know this material for what it really is. I don’t have the proper knowledge. Sheesh…

I cut my hair on Saturday. My bangs got too long and they annoyed me. I said earlier, to myself, lol, that I wanted a more mature haircut. However, here I am, sitting with the same haircut I ALWAYS get. Ugh, I don’t know what to get next time. Everything has been done…except for going bald or REALLY short hair. But that scares me, haha. Crazy, crazy…

Other than all of that, my computer is very jacked up…I’m going to have to take it into surgery very soon!

Bye bye!

Cooooool

Wow, long time no real type of a blog, aye?!?!

So lately nothing interesting has happened. My best friend turned 19 on Friday though! I hope she had a lot of fun on that day! I was able to celebrate with her for about an hour, so it was good !!

As a valentines gift (for friendship, something I was not aware of until I received the gift D: ), she gave me this little notepad, which is very pretty!!

and here is the inside!!

It’s really nice!!! I really like it!

As far as studies go, I have an exam tomorrow morning. I SHOULD be studying right now, but I am one to procrastinate, so it will be left for the very last minute. lol.

No, I should get around to it pretty soon.

Well, that will be all for now!

Bye bye (^_^)v

UWAAAAAA!

Oh my! It’s been a long time AGAIN!

How are we?

I am good, for now.

Honestly, the last week…or at least the time of my absence here have been pretty, hard. I’ve been dealing with a lot of emotional stress. I’ve had a lot of downs…too many. Though, it is good to know that things are becoming better now. I realized that life is what we make it, and to gain positivity we must put effort to achieve that.

So!

Here I am, with energy to update again!

I am taking a class currently during this winter. SPEECH. It is going well. Actually, today I had a speech to do. The idea was to film it and then criticize ourselves.

Hahaha, I will admit that I had a troublesome period during my speech. It was amusing because I couldn’t help but express how terrible I felt! And that is one of the “Don’ts” of public speaking! Ah!

Eh…

Anyway, I finally get a break as of today! I am glad!

I need it! It’s been so cold out! Not a good time to be going out so much as every day.

Here we go…

warm shoes for the winter, people.

And my socks! Stripes~!!

They brighten my mood.

I actually wore a lot of pink today, in order to brighten my mood. I am treating myself .

I look angry >:(!

Ah, well, that is it for today!

PEACE! ^_^v

until next time!

「恋唄」

I love this song so much.

Even more so now, because I relate to it in so many ways. HO HUM…

I’ve been watching the Food Network too much lately! That’s where all my TV time goes, seriously…I am actually considering maybe getting into Culinary…thing…is there a term for that?

Well…

When I made my first cake ever, and from scratch, I got really good responses! I was so glad, and still am! It was pretty good…

So, I want to make another one! But, I also want to make cookies, or something sweet for the holidays. Maybe I want to be a pastry chef? Maybe…

Not much to say. I’ve got to start school next week, starting Monday. While all the other kids are having a dandy ol’ time enjoying their winter break, I will be sitting in a classroom everyday for 4 hours beginning at 8:30 a.m. Yesssss…it’s so much more fun. But that’s my fault, because I decided I wanted to get Speech over and done with sooner than later.

And maybe I’ll also get a job! But that isn’t set in stone yet. Hmm…

I want chocolate cake!

Lately I have been having these strange cravings for sweets!

And by lately, I mean like a month!

But I want like…cake or something, not just a piece of chocolate or a simple sugar cookie. It seems that I eat those to somehow get rid of these weird cravings, but that doesn’t work! Actually, now that I think about it…I’ve been craving A LOT.

Anyway…

Should I make a new “I’m new here” post? Because I haven’t been here in ages, and I think this will be my official blog from now on. Why? Well, it’s easier than having to manually do stuff on my website. ARG.

So, here we go! .

Um, yeah, get to know me in the ‘About Yvette’, because right now, I don’t feel like typing about myself so much!

I’m going to go ahead and make another post! A REAL post!

PEACE! (^_^)v

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Procrastination!

What am I doing!?!?

I should be studying!!!

But instead, I am here, typing away…

hmm…

School tomorrow, test, halloween, Friday…
I’m glad, for once, that it will be Friday. But it should also be busy, and not for leisure time, unfortunately (_ _ )…
No halloween fun for me (;^; ) …

I realized that I am addicted to grapes. I need therapy, it’s pretty bad.

I am dreading the day tomorrow.
Wish me luck!

PEACE! (^_^)v

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OW

I just got done writing two papers for two of my classes. Ugh. I feel horrible!

My back really hurts.

But, I am glad that it is over with!

Last night I forcelfully went to a play that took place at my college campus. I had to go in order to write one of those papers.

How was it?

Well, if I had a gun…

haha…

I just wasn’t into it.

But the actors and actresses were pretty good, I thought…

I think I’m going to end it here, I’m super tired.

PEACE (^-^)v

Facebookはある？？

I’m considering on whether I should actually use the Facebook account that I created out of…curiosity, lol.

I’m not sure…

hmm…

I just might use it, but that is what I said about the Myspace account that I made, and it’s basically like…non-existent right now!

It’s difficult to explain the emotion that I feel at the moment.

After several days of feeling, pretty bad, I am a little more happy to say that I am not exactly…in a miserable state. However, I am…? It really doesn’t make any sense…not even to me.

Maybe I’ve become numb?

I feel happy, but I feel bummed out. I feel relieved, I feel confused, I feel sad, I feel lonely, I feel…stressed out. And it’s all coming down at once.

But most of all, I’m focusing on the happiness that I feel. I found out some bad news…that is what is causing me to feel the sadness, yet the relief as well. Confused…

Ugh. Emotions really suck!

Happy, I listen to 杉本善徳 (Yoshinori Sugimoto). His music makes me happy, haha.

the album is good!!!
「甘党」!!

KOOL-AID

No one can ever separate me and the Kool-Aid.

lol.

I’ve been up all day studying for 2 exams tomorrow. Nervous I am!

Hopefully I do well.

Damn, I just remember I had green tea. That will not enable me to sleep tonight ._. …

I should be studying! (゜д゜；)

PEACE (^_^)v

OBAMA!!!

OH YEAH!!

o(^▽^)o

Uh Oh…

EHH!?!?

SCARY!

Not appetizing, honestly…

Oooh,

but this sure is!!

I want something cheeeeeeeeeeeeesy~!

…

Well…

2 exams took place today.

I’m so ashamed!!!

I did horribly on both of them!! And I actually sacrificed possibly the most simple one for the hardest exam, only to totally bomb that one as well! Not fair at all. I studied my butt off!

Yes…

I am a little mad…

But I’m fiiiiiiiine !

Here is where I found both those lovely pictures! –> http://www.tastespotting.com/

I want to learn how to cook!!! I want to make goodies!!

PEACE (^_^)v

This life…

Beautiful life ヾ(＠°▽°＠)ﾉ！

Sooooooy

Soy Milk.

How many people drink this stuff…besides myself and MANY others?

It’s good.

Please ignore the 70′s style blender back there…

I’m not particular about brand, so I am not here trying to promote Silk soy milk. This is actually my first time trying out this brand, and it tastes just like all the other soy milk brands I’ve tried…

I colored my hair D; !!

And I’m terrified, to let myself be seen by people who haven’t seen me with it yet D; !! With school tomorrow, I can’t avoid it! I fear that some won’t like it…because I’m not even sure if I do…ugh…

I’ve gone a long time without dying my hair…I miss my natural color already . It’s only been a day…

I’m so scared, I’m such a wimp! AH! There is nothing that I can really do anyway, honestly.

I’ll make sure I post a picture of the new hair tomorrow!

MORE FOOD!

Hey!

It’s been a long time!

Well, I’m back !!

Oh…and I have images of myself, with the new hair color. The pictures are a bit dark, so it won’t show the actual color too much. But it’s enough to get an idea!

So, TODAY…

I enjoyed this!

Yummy, bubble-tea!

It really was very, very good!

I will have to admit that the first part of the day felt strange…I think I know why…hmm. One of my classes was canceled. It’s going to sound silly, but I missed it! The classmates too. I didn’t see a lot of them today, so yeah.

Lately I’ve been curling my hair, and I’ve been getting a lot of compliments on it. Are they sincere? I guess I’ll never know for sure, but I don’t mind them! I need the confidence boost right now…in such a bad time…yesss…

That is the new shade and style I’ve been sporting lately.

Yes…the mirror seems to be dirty…ahem…

So, on the down side of things, I need to make some adjustments…it seems…

On what?!?

Well…

I’ve been told that people have been saying that I look “anorexic” or I’m “really skinny”.

And it’s not just random people (well, actually, I don’t know that…), it’s actually people that I know, but they haven’t told me this, personally. They have told a friend of mine, and she just told me today.

I’m not angry or offended by those comments, because, I have been told this exact same thing by my own family…except in more harsh terms :s. BUT, I’m actually taking this as…constructive criticism…I guess?? I don’t want to look anorexic. I’m actually…concerned about my health right now. Maybe I do eat too little?

So…

I’m going to try and start adding more food to my diet. I can’t promise I’ll gain weight, however, it will be very likely that I will! Especially with the holidays rolling around. I can’t wait! Yeah…the sad thing is, that honestly, I don’t see myself as skinny…at all…but you know…that’s typical. Another sad thing is that I fear gaining weight :s. I need help…

I wish I could curl my hair more often, but it’s damaging it in the worst ways! I don’t want to make my hair suffer just so that people like what they see, lol. If that makes any sense at all…

I’m trying to be more happy, because I’ve been so sad lately :/…

Well, that’s it!

PEACE ^_^v

今日は本当に寒いだね！

Oi!!!

HELLO!

Well, today…

was COLD!!!!

IS COLD!

I’m also sick .

I’m not FULLY sick, but everyday, I get worse. So, here is hoping the weekend helps me out a bit. I still have to go back to school today to attend this dance concert thing, as an assignment for a class. And, I have a paper to write for that. Also, some other paper for the same class. Let’s see, I should do all of that over the weekend…because most likely I’ll have nothing to do anyway! What a life!

Let’s see…

I want a job…BAD.

OH!!! I can’t wait for Thanksgiving! I’m so excited and I want it to come sooner than…whatever, haha!

I registered for Spring classes, as well as one class during the winter term. that means I have no winter break. And it’s every day too, no breaks. It’s only speech, so in a way, that should be some fun, no?!? YES!! I want to be able to give a presentation without freezing up! My last presentation went well…and I got an award for most unique topic, haha. Thanks to the class. BUT, the speech before that was…horrible. I have never been so nervous in my life during a speech, and I have never done so horribly either. Although, it was all pressure to please my professor, because he is ultimately intimidating…it was bad…

So, an update, I’ve gained weight!!! YES. Upon hearing those comments, I fell weak. That night I starting  binging, but the only reason why I did it was because I took those comments to heart, and not because I felt the need to eat all that crap that I did. By the end of it, I realized I was hurting myself…yes I felt physical pain shoving all that food down, but all I could think was that being called anorexic isn’t something I want. I hate this about myself because it just proves to me what a dumb person I am for letting things like that get to me. I mean, how weak can you be?!? So, today, I talked to two of my friends about that, and I was like, you know what? Screw those people, I don’t care what they think about me! PLUS, a friend told me not to listen to them because I DON’T look anorexic, which made me feel better, but at the same time it was not a good thing because I felt that I had gained these 3 pounds for nothing…Ugh, I don’t understand myself sometimes. It’s sad that I have this conscious that is so much more intelligent than I am. It tells me everything I want to know, yet, here I sit and ignore it, and do stupid things that don’t benefit me. I’m battling with my self! WHAT kind of…bull is that?!?! It’s just sad…

And so, here’s the plan…I probably will continue to gain weight, because of the holidays, lol. BUT, I’m not going out of my way to gain weight. I’m not going to try, in other words. I’m still going to eat like I always have. I’m used to it, I CAN’T EAT A LOT, DAMNIT. Especially a lot of junk-food, it doesn’t feel good .

The temporary emotions for the day: SUPER HAPPY, regretful, confused

What’s in store for tomorrow, Sunday, next week?!

Thanksgiving!

Hello!

Yes, I know, the day after Thanksgiving, it’s a bit late to be talking about it…

Well, my Thanksgiving went well. The food was AMAZING. YES, so much that I over-ate…which I do feel guilty about…

On Wednesday I baked a cake! YUS, me, myself. My very first cake, too! I have never baked anything in my life, so it was a big deal and it also made me very nervous. I made everything from scratch, so it was even a little more nerve-racking. I made the cake, the frosting, and the sauce that I used in between the layers. I called it “Almond blue-berry and raspberry Cake” haha. So, this is what it was…an almond flavored white cake, with cream cheese frosting, and a blue berry and raspberry sauce. The process was hell (won’t go into details as to why), and the outcome was…alright. I was actually afraid of how it would all come together because everything own its own tasted…strange, in their own different ways…but it wasn’t that bad! I think it was actually pretty well done for someone who had never done this before. My parents said it was good, and supposedly my sister’s boyfriend also mentioned it was good. But are they lying?!?

I will take a piece for one of my friends, she will tell me the truth! Also, I’ll make sure to take a picture of a slice, so it can be seen. It looks kind of pretty with the purple-ish red in between the cake layers, and then the beige frosting stuff. Yeah…

I might make cookies this Monday. I also plan to make another cake soon! With banana influence !

What else…

I have gained 7 pounds this month. I am not too happy about that…before the additional 4 pounds yesterday…

Anyway, happy late Thanksgiving!

Ushhhh

I wish I could go shopping…

But that’s hard when you’re broke!

I want a new hand bag. I’ve been craving a bright, warm color, like orange, YELLOW, red…

But I also like my neutral, earthy colors very much, my greens, browns, blues, etc.

This is my current purse! Feathery! A lot of people seem to like it, including myself ;D haha. But really, I get bored with things easily, so I need something new…

The day was super cold, once again! Which is silly because about a day ago, it was warm out! This Texan weather is the craziest fudge ever! I miss L.A.!!! At least there, the weather always remained  nice and constant and made a lot of sense!

I’m worried about exams next week! And passing my classes! AH! I must study super hard this weekend, it’s super important! I really am excited about the winter term! Other than that, I have a worry…I don’t need to mention that though!

Let’s see what comes up later one tonight!! FRIDAY!!!

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